I woke up this morning with that familiar knot in my stomach. You know the one - it's part excitement, part terror, and a whole lot of "what have I gotten myself into?"

Yesterday I shared about launching Porch Swing Hope, and the response has been so encouraging. But if I'm being completely honest, there's this voice in my head that keeps whispering things like "Who do you think you are?" (which some well meaning person already said to me as I shared about what I was doing!) and "What if nobody shows up?" and my personal favorite, "You should have done this ten years ago when you were younger."

Maybe you know that voice too.

The Myth of Perfect Timing

Here's the thing about starting - there's never a perfect time. There was always something, mainly fear. Life also always needed something. I was too busy, I didn't have enough figured out yet, the timing wasn't right.

When is the timing ever right for scary things?

The other day my 14 year old son said, "Mom, what if I pick the wrong thing?" And I wanted to give him some wise, motherly advice about how it all works out in the end.

Instead, I just said, "What if you pick something and then adjust along the way?"

Probably should have listened to my own advice sooner.

Starting Over at Any Age

One of the hardest parts about beginning something new when you're not 22 anymore is that everyone expects you to have it all figured out or they dismiss you because you are not 22. It's the strangest thing to experience.

I have more wisdom, sure, but I also have more responsibilities. I have people that count on me. I know how quickly things can go wrong. I have to have more courage too. I've seen some worst-case scenarios happen. Most of them are survivable.

The Beauty of Messy Beginnings

I keep thinking about my microgreens. When I first started growing them, I had this vision of perfect little green rows, everything neat and organized. What I got instead was chaos. Some sprouted faster than others, some didn't sprout at all, and I definitely overwatered half of them.

But you know what? They still grew. The messy ones, the uneven ones, even the ones that started late - they all became something useful.

Maybe that's what starting over really looks like. Not perfect rows of progress, but messy growth that happens in its own time, in its own way.

What I'm Learning About Community

The scariest part of launching Porch Swing Hope wasn't the technical stuff or even the writing. It was the vulnerability of saying, "Hey, I think we need each other" and then wondering if anyone would agree.

So many of us are feeling the same way. We're tired of pretending everything's fine when it's not. We're ready for real conversations and actual connection. We're all just looking for our people.

Yesterday, after I hit "publish" on that first post, I got messages from people saying things like "I've been thinking about starting something too" and "This is exactly what I needed to hear" and "How did you know I was feeling so alone?"

Maybe the scary thing isn't starting over. Maybe it's staying stuck where we are when we know there's something more we're supposed to be doing.

Your Turn to Begin Again

I don't know what "starting over" looks like for you. Maybe it's a career change, maybe it's going back to school, maybe it's finally writing that book or starting that business or having that hard conversation you've been avoiding.

Or maybe it's smaller than that. Maybe it's just deciding to be more honest with the people in your life. Maybe it's saying no to things that drain you and yes to things that fill you up. Maybe it's admitting that you're lonely and doing something about it.

Maybe it is taking steps to not be so lonely. Go to a gym, local welcoming coffee shop, or visit that church down the road. There's a million of them out there, some are horrific - but some are wonderful. We'll talk more about finding the decent ones and great ones later - and how to avoid the controlling, manipulative ones. God is still God, no matter what - even when churches fail Him.

Whatever it is, I want you to know something - you don't have to have it all figured out before you start. You don't have to wait for perfect timing or perfect circumstances or perfect confidence.

You just have to start.

The Permission You Don't Need

Here's your permission slip: You're allowed to start over. You're allowed to change direction. You're allowed to try something new even if you might fail at it.

You're allowed to be a beginner again, even if it feels awkward. You're allowed to not know what you're doing. You're allowed to figure it out as you go.

Most importantly, you're allowed to want more than what you have right now. That doesn't make you ungrateful - it makes you human.

The world needs what you have to offer, even if you're not sure what that is yet. Especially then.

So what do you say? Ready to start over with me? Ready to figure it out as we go and support each other through the messy, scary, beautiful process of becoming who we're meant to be?

I promise you won't have to do it alone. That's what this whole porch swing thing is about - creating space for all of us who are brave enough to begin again.

What are you thinking about starting or restarting in your life? What's been holding you back, and what would it look like to take just one small step forward? Share in the comments - I have a feeling we're all more ready than we think we are.